Posted in devotion, discipleship, encouragement, just a thought

so easy to miss…..

I love my son ~ deeply and profoundly and I treasure our conversations….  

I contemplate his words, I am fascinated by his brilliant mind, I am endeared by his tender heart and I am nearly undone by his vulnerability…

He has challenged and enlightened me.  And just when I think I know him, He says somethings deep or challenging or unexpected,  but something that simply reveals a piece of him I hadn’t even realized was there …

And I find pure joy just knowing that I now know him a little bit more…

What a tragic loss if I had never really known him ~ if there had not actually been a relationship. What regret if one day I realized that my time with my son had been limited to concerns with behavior and tasks and accomplishments ~ merely desiring his acquisition of knowledge and obedience to rules, unaware of his lack of understanding….

Maybe the difference isn’t as obvious as I think it is  ~ but I think it’s everything….

Because I think that ‘knowledge’ is useless data without understanding ~ and I think teaching rules without reason is short-sighted and will not endure when tested.

And I think that it requires so much more effort to establish a relationship (as in KNOW HIM, feel his pain that no one else sees, know his fears, and hear His heart)

And I can’t help but see a connection…

What comes to mind when someone says “I really need to try to read my Bible…   or pray…”

or when I feel like the focus of a passage is reduced to “how does this apply to me?”

Something is missing ~ and it’s called “relationship”

Not ONCE in his life did my son come to me to “hear his daily input” and move on…

Nor has he gone days without letting me talk to him

Nor has he ever poured out his heart and then walked away without waiting for a response

My heart pounds with the desire to communicate this truth

God’s word is for me, but it’s about God ~ because He wants me to know Him 

So when I open His word I want to listen…

to contemplate His words and be awed by His infinite mind, to be overwhelmed by His merciful love and undone by MY vulnerability…..

I want to learn and gain understanding so that just when I think I know Him…
He reveals something deep or profound, convicting or comforting or so awe-inspiring that it challenges my inner most being

so I can know pure joy simply because I know that I know Him just a little more ~ and from this, my heart overflows in response and I am transformed…

And what a tragic loss if I don’t seek to know Him ~ if i don’t understand that the God of the universe wants a relationship with me ~ what regret if I my time with my God is  limited to concerns of tasks or merely seeking to acquire knowledge and rules blissfully unaware of my lack of understanding….

I did indeed seek to educate my son, we set boundaries and had rules ~ and I promise, his behavior mattered ~ but without understanding, without relationship what real impact could I have hoped for?  And how sad!  Oh the blessings I would have missed…

It would be so easy to miss, but He wants me to know Him, to have a relationship Him, a relationship that requires submission and surrender, a relationship that provides power and has purpose…

but

a relationship….

Posted in chickens, compost, garden, the farmhouse, worms

country roots…

I grew up in a beautiful country home… a little house nestled amongst rich farmland and a mature nursery ~ no cows or pigs or chickens….  but gardens some seasons, horses and mules others… and always fishing pond, a barn, cats or dogs or other little critters, lots of trees, fresh air,  and more than anything ~ peace and serenity…

And I miss that….

A couple of years ago I started mowing our lawn ~ i know “WOW” *sarcasm*  but actually, it was an accomplishment ~ my husband owns a large lawn care and landscape company and I had to learn to maneuver a HUGE John Deere Ztrac – AND it had to be GOOD!  I did it to help out during an exceptionally busy season, but continued because I LOVED IT.  Everything about my frame of mind improved.  My husband insists I’m solar-powered.  I think he’s on to something ~ anyway, it gave me a taste for what was missing.

*insert another seemingly random thought*  In the last 14 years we’ve added three different and serious autoimmune issues as well as a couple of food allergies to our family, prompting us to research the nutrition world, ad nauseam …. which led to a better understanding of our unfortunate food supply….which lead to my long-standing but never attempted desire to be a part of the rapidly growing “homesteading” way of life… which brings me to the long-time-coming plan…

It’s time to satiate my desire for a slice of country living and respond to our genuine need for better food and build my own version of an “urban homestead”.  Certainly not an original idea ~ but almost every aspect of it is new to me (at least in practice)

So ~ I’m going to have a garden ~ pretty enough for my neighbors…
chickens for eggs (no roosters yet ;p)  ~ so quiet enough to be of little notice…
and horses (strangely permitted in this neighborhood – yay!!) ~
pretty enough to be appreciated….

And somehow the idea of worm farms and composting and the many dirty jobs of the homesteading world are fantastically appealing to me!!  This may be one of those romanticized items ~ but this is why I’m posting

So far I have started planning my gardens and gathering helpful resources ~ including books and magazines and tons of wonderful links!  I am fortunate to have a lot of family experts, including my sister-in-law who actually lives in the country.   She is a PRO at the homesteading gig and, ironically, was a city girl growing up!  You name it, she’s probably done it on some scale, she really is An Accidental Country Girl, but she rocks it, she blogs it and she inspires me!

A budget is next and then the purchasing and planting and building will begin ~ I still have a few weeks before the earliest chance for a real thaw, but I’m guessing I will be shocked at how quickly the time passes!